Why am I still single?

I was going through my internet favourites folder this week and I came across this article "Why am I still single?" written by Gemma Soames in The Sunday Times a few years ago.  In her article Gemma talks hilariously but sincerely about being almost permanently single and the list of attributes the man of her dreams will possess.

All us singletons ask ourselves this question every now and again. Why am I still single?  We blame the apparent male:female ratio distortion, our mothers, our sins in a past life and ultimately ourselves for things we should have done differently, the lost love we clung on to for far too long, that dodgy haircut we probably sported for too many years...

But the reality is we all have some sort of list of what we're looking for - the things we are unwilling to compromise on.  In low moments, my friend Dr. Sarah has stated the minimum criteria she's looking for in a love match as "not hideous with no visible signs of criminal psychosis".  In her more optimistic moments she amends this to "A good kisser, who is not hideous or mean, with no visible signs of criminal psychosis". At the other end of the spectrum is a rather uptight friend of a friend whose non negotiable list includes the postcode the man grew up in, a post-graduate qualification, height, shoe size, eye colour, type of school attended as well as a raft of other, largely obnoxious, factors.

  

Reading Gemma's article I realised that I do have a bit of a list.  My last boyfriend taught me a lot about what I really valued. When I met him I realised that the few things that I’d always felt were non negotiable – entertaining extrovert, passionate interest in food, owner of a full head of hair - were not only negotiable; they were deeply unimportant in the greater scheme of things.

So, my list is as follows. a tall, handsome, slightly lonely, millionaire.  Kidding, I'm kidding!

So, seriously. His most defining features need to be his honesty and integrity. He needs to be calm without being excessively laid back.  He needs to be (quietly) confident without being in anyway over-powering. He needs to be good company without being attention seeking. He needs to be generous but easily accept generosity from me too.  He needs to eat vegetables.  I will fancy him like mad. He needs to be smart. He won't play games. He's not flashy or showey. He will think my stories are hilarious/insightful/incredibly interesting. In fact, he's going to think I'm fabulous.

He will have a healthy relationship with his family.  And be just old-fashioned enough (chivalrous, opens doors, walks on the outside of the pavement) but in no way chauvinistic or closed minded.  And I would choose his company over anyone else’s in the whole world. 

Like Gemma's list, this is the abridged criteria - and might explain why I'm single at (almost) 35 and online dating....