The beginning...

What Cosmopolitan magazine might call a "Significant Relationship" ended last year. Unexpectedly. Out of the blue. Pulling the rug out from under me and leaving me utterly heartbroken, devastated, shocked and grieving. For the following eight months I kept busy. I decluttered & rearranged every wardrobe and press that I had, cleaned incessently, painted the spare room and basically worked myself through my long "to do" list of stuff that needed to be done around the house.  For all of this time I had no interest in meeting anyone else. There was no need - I was convinced that significant ex (Nick) would see the huge mistake he had made and we'd be back together, all the better for the perspective gained during our time apart in a mere matter of time.

Yep, not just a river in Egypt... 

8 months, an ocean of tears, a bad blind date and one ill judged booty call later and I was reluctantly ready to accept that I might not be growing old with Nick and so, should maybe start thinking about trying to meet someone new.  But we've all watched Sex and the City and as the old song goes; a good man is hard to find.  It was easier said than done.

Just to give you a bit of context. When it comes to meeting "someone new", I'm better placed than most.  I have a broad and eclectic circle of friends. In fact, if my social life was any healthier, I'd probably have difficulty holding down a job or staying solvent.  In the past I've done the evening courses, the activity weekends, the ski holidays, the wine tasting, the singles events. I've been set up. I've asked the universe. I've asked my (now deceased) grandmother to put in a good word for me with the man upstairs. I've agreed to blind dates, and generally put myself out there.   What's more, I'm a nice girl. I'm no Einstein but I get by. I'm no Angelina but definitely acceptable. I am by no means over confident but I do strongly believe one thing. I. Should. Not. Be. Single.  But the nub of it is; I am.   And I came to an uncomfortable realisation - if I do end up single at 70, I will, for the sake of my own mental wellbeing, have to be able to say that I did everything I possibly could to not be single. No regrets and all that.... And unfortunately, in the 21st century, that means at least trying internet dating. 

This was prompted by my friend Lisa.  She called me at work.

"You need to start online dating."

"No way! How could you even suggest such a thing?  I'm still very fragile ..."

"Fragile my backside.  It's been 8 months. You need to stop wallowing - and by the way, you are now officially wallowing...  And, Margaret at work started online dating 6 months ago and  (insert dramatic pause) met The One".

(Really Lisa, I thought to myself, The One?  Lisa is a very left brain accountant who, despite being blissfully married to the man of her dreams, is, I'm fairly sure, not entirely convinced of the notion of The One.  But apparently the results were speaking for themselves - only six months after first meeting, Margaret and her The One were now gleefully spending their weekends in Ikea and TileStyle so it's all happily ever after for them. Lisa's message was clear - The One might be waiting for you online so get you there asap. And she was not accepting no for an answer).

Sigh. "Well ok then I'll do up a profile and maybe check out some sites but I'm not promising that I'll actually meet anyone or anything.... "

"Good girl. You've very brave".

(Lisa is a new parent and so big on both tough love and positive reinforcement).

So that's my background and how I came to be online dating. It's been a few months. The learning curve has been pretty steep. It has had its ups and its downs but it hasn't been boring... Hey, sure that's why I'm blogging about it.